Studio Journal — Broken/Unbroken

(above) Early image of large canvas composition.

A reflection on the artist and muse — the act of looking, the history of being looked at, and the quiet power dynamics that have always existed between them.

Before the composition settled, before the two figures found their relationship on the canvas, the arms came first — a crosshatched study, in pencil and ink. Her arms folded, forming an inverted triangle. A shape that is closed, yet considered.

It is a familiar gesture. The body at rest, turned slightly inward. There is something in that posture that opened up the composition.

I used the surroundings of my studio (loosely) to create an interior with dappled light on the windows. The difficulty was allowing the painting to stay awkward — to resist the pull toward resolution while the theme was still forming.

I could feel the style forming as I worked — igniting different possibilities, feeling the tension develop between the figures. A sustained act of unknowing, accompanied by the cringe of my own mark-making.

The artist's hand is still unresolved — abstracted, the underpainting a deep red. What is at stake is not simply who holds the gaze. It is the harder question of how one person makes themselves present to another.

Some areas of the painting were finding their way. The dynamic tones were showing in places. Those moments of confirmation matter.

The painting continues. I'll return here as it does.